The Challenge
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: After everything they've gone through, Buffy decides to challenge Faith one last time. One question remains, is she up for it? Post 'Chosen' *Reviews are greatly appreciated*
1. Old Habits

The Bronze was packed, as it usually tended to be on patrol free nights.  
Buffy didn't particularly like to leave her work for a bunch of potential Slayers to handle.  
"Potential Slayers, that basically means that they're potentials. They're not real Slayers. They're not like me." She'd had one too many beers. "Foamy." Buffy sat alone in a dark corner of the club.  
Her friends had left her hours ago, but she couldn't bare herself to go home.  
"Hey, hey you!" She yelled out at some random guy walking by, her victim of the night.  
"The word potential, what does it mean?" The guy shrugged. "It's not real is it? I mean sure it's a word, but it's not like, real?" He smiled and took a seat beside her. "Like me, I'm real. They're just, children. Potentials. Even if there were a hundred of them, under my roof…" Buffy paused and hesitated for a second.  
"One hundred of those little things would never be able fit in my house." The guy was beyond lost and he was now in no way interested in what Buffy was talking about.  
So she let her confusion go, along with her victim.

Her feet were slightly dangling inches above the floor, she let them touch solid ground and took a few staggering steps, before she sank right back down again.  
She looked at her watch, it was past midnight.  
The thought of going home had hit her, but ever since the Summers' residence had become the new headquarters, she needed to be elsewhere just to breathe.

"Well, if it isn't Buffy Summers herself. It's been a while. Come give us a hug." Buffy looked up and squinted her eyes. "Cordelia?" The figure pulled her up to eye level. "Nope, definitely not. Better." Buffy exclaimed. "Yeah, Willow told me I could find you here. Come on, let's go home."  
Buffy let herself get dragged out of the Bronze and into the night. "Where are we going?" Once outside she inhaled the fresh air. "I don't feel so good." Buffy hurried around the corner and threw up in the alley.  
"Hey B, you feeling better now that you've puked up a lung?" She wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket.  
"Much. Take me home, Faith."


	2. Keep the Faith

When they entered the house they were immediately surrounded by girls. Dawn rushed to her sisters aid. "I've got her. She's fine. Same room?" Faith asked, Dawn simply nodded. "Just trying to help you know." The teenager rolled her eyes obnoxiously. "I said I got it!" Faith snapped as she half lead, half carried her drunk fellow Slayer to her room.

"Who was that?" Kennedy asked, her gaze still at the top of the stairs. "Oh you mean besides my drunk sister?" With that Dawn stormed off. "Her name is Faith." Xander said. "She's something alright, but I'd suggest you don't waste your time. It's her world, we're just living in it. 'Faith want? Faith take and Faith have.' If you're going after tat, you better prepare yourself. Because with her? All bets are off." He gave Kennedy's shoulders a squeeze before he disappeared into the dreamlike existence of potentials.  
"I just want a taste."  
Kennedy started to climb the stairs, it took her forever to reach the top, or so it seemed like. Just when she was about to knock on Buffy's bedroom door, it opened.

"Who are you?" The rough Slayer blurted out. "I'm, Kennedy. I just wanted to see how she was doing and…" She didn't even get to finish her sentence before Faith had her in a firm grip. "What are you doing?" Kennedy asked. "Too many questions. I'm taking control." Kennedy tried to free herself, but only in vain. She was at Faith's mercy. "You want to put that tongue ring of yours to great use?" A wicked grin spread across the faces of both girls.  
Faith forced the other girl to lay back on the bed and made sure she was nowhere near Buffy. Even so, Kennedy kept looking back at her. "Is she?" Faith raised an eyebrow. "Relax kid." She started kissing down Kennedy's neck. She'd never felt such softness before. The softer she got, the more aggressive Faith got. As she came up for air, Kennedy probed herself up on her elbows. "This is insane! You don't even know me!" Faith wiped the trail of saliva from the other girls neck and jaw line, before he replied; "I don't need to know you, to fuck you."  
Always the volume, always the words. Faith always knew what to say, no matter the situation.  
"Okay, not what I expected." Faith got off of her and sighed deeply, she threw her hands up in defence. "Fine, forget it."

Kennedy who was still catching her breath, hid her face in her hands, momentarily forgetting where she was. That was until Buffy kicked her back into reality. She hit the floor with a loud thud. "Ow!" Buffy yawned and sat up slightly annoyed. "What the hell?"  
The potential tried to think of something nifty to say, but her mind was blank. Thankfully Faith came to her rescue. "Hey kid, they need you downstairs." As she was blocking the doorway, Kennedy had to push her way through. Her body brushed up against Faith's. 'Sorry' was all she managed to get out. Faith smiled wickedly as she shut the door in her face.


	3. Dinner As the Night Falls

"Do you want me to bring you anything?" Faith was restless and Buffy could tell that her Slayer senses were tingling. "Did you slay tonight Faith?" Buffy's smile was evil, she rarely showed it., but Faith knew from experience that it was one of many.  
"I was busy getting your drunk ass home, so obviously not and that smile isn't going to work in me. Do you want anything or not?" Buffy almost looked offended. "I know what you and Kennedy almost did in my room, on my bed, with me in it by the way. What happened? Couldn't hack it?" Faith simply glared off into space. "I didn't want to force her, that's what happened."  
The blond wasn't buying it.  
"Oh please, she was practically begging for it. You culdn't do it, want to know why? Let me tell you why, you couldn't sleep with her, because you need to be challenged. Kennedy wasn't a challenge, nor would she actually challenge you. You need someone who will hold you down and scream their life into your face." Suddenly Faith's expression changed. "What are you saying?" Buffy threw a pillow at her. "If you would've let me finish… I'll challenge you. See, I want you to sleep with her.

Faith hardly recocgnized the petite girl, it must've been the beer. "What's the catch?" Buffy strode over to her. "I get to watch and if I like what I see, I get to join." There it was again, the smile. "I know you were watching us, so this doesn't come as a surprise, I know you like to participate even more so. Why don't you forget about her for a moment and focus on the two of us. Buffy grabbed her shirt and pulled her closer. "If I let you watch, I get to fuck you?"  
Faith could feel Buffy's hands on her.  
She closed her eyes.  
The hands traveled up her taunt stomach. "Nice." They traveled downwards, to the waistband of her underwear, she unbuttoned her jeans. Buffy fell to her knees.  
The words _'please don't stop'_ were the only ones Faith knew at the time being. "How about some food?" Before she left the room she turned to face Faith one more time. "Are you game?" The younger Slayer re-buttoned her pants, she was speechless. "What am I thinking? Of course you are." Buffy said and left.

Faith was all alone with only her thoughts to comfort her. "Fuck!" She frowned and walked up to the full body mirror. She looked at herself, really exterminated herself.  
Dark lines were beginning to for under her eyes and her skin looked ugly and old.  
Old.  
Faith felt so old. "Fuck." She rammed her fist into the mirror. It didn't break, it only left a crack down the middle and her knuckles were soar, but she couldn't care less.


	4. Dust By Dawn

"Are you going out?" Buffy asked when she saw Faith grab her leather jacket from the couch. When she didn't reply, the blond walked up to er and slightly brushed her hand against the other Slayer's cheek, which made Faith jump. "I' just, you know, patrol." Her words sounded strangled. "Take Kennedy, you could teach her a thing or two." Buffy winked at the end of her sentence. "I can't B, not yet." The older Slayer crossed her arms. "So, you're out then?" Faith shook her head in disbelief and walked out the door.

Buffy knew better than that, she fallowed her to The Bronze. Faith was sitting in the exact same spot where she had found Buffy the night before. She watched her getting comfortable with a guy and his girlfriend. The conversation between them could be heard from a miles distance and Buffy mimicked the girl in disgust.  
'Oh I like your jacket, can I try it on?' Faith stared at the girl before starting to take it off.  
As Buffy looked closer she could see that the girl looked very much like herself. 'Kinky.' Her glare almost pierced holes into the girl, who by this time had noticed her. "What's the deal? She your girlfriend or something?" Faith gave her the 'not-even' expression.  
"It's complicated, but she's not my girlfriend. Wishful thinking." She didn't let it be known on whose behalf.  
Buffy and Faith locked eyes. "Let's get out of here, yeah?" The girl grinned. "Yeah? You want to?" With the girl clinging to her waist, Faith made her way over to the bathroom where the guy was waiting. "After you." He said and tilted his head to check out Faith's ass as they entered one of the stalls.  
Buffy chuckled. "Douche bag."  
Even so, it didn't stop her form fallowing them. The whole situation disgusted her, the moans even more so. She didn't want to witness anything, but to her dismay her eyes chose to not look away.  
Buffy ignored all the thoughts running around inside her head as she stepped outside and walked the lonely road home.


	5. A Walk In the Park

Buffy walked alone, she liked walking alone.  
It let her clear her mind and focus on what really mattered, which was ironically, Buffy.  
For so many years, every night had pretty much been the same, except for her 'off duty' nights and this night.  
This night was different because Faith had made it different.

As Buffy managed to slay the last remaining vampire, she was tapped on the shoulder. She spun around and almost knocked out; "Faith, god! What are you doing here?" She tried to back up, to enlarge the distance between them. Instead she fell back against a tombstone, but quickly regained her balance. "Tipsy much?" The older Slayer rolled her eyes. "Not even, I'm busy, what do you want?" Faith looked around. "You don't seem busy. Hey, if you're in it for the fun, I know this vamp nest not too far from here. Let's go play goldie locks." Buffy sighed in frustration. "Don't call me that. I hate it."  
The truth wasm she didn't. "Alright, so change the hair. You know that only means that I'll come up with a new nick for you, right?"  
Buffy knew that se'd never win the ongoing battle between Faith and her, it had never been about winning. "Maybe I will." Faith, mainly confused, tried to play it cool. "Maybe you'll what?" Buffy turned to walk away and Faith watched her as she did so.  
It came as a surprise when she turned around to say; "Change my hair."


	6. It's A Beautiful Day

The next morning Buffy was out of the house before anyone else had even gotten out of bed.  
She had, had a troublesome night.  
Changes were always hard on her. The bigger the worse. It didn't really matter.  
This time it was different. She was doing it for herself, nobody else.  
Buffy pushed open the door to the hair salon, it was completely empty.  
"You must be my 11am?" A very attractive girl said.  
A rainbow of browns and blond threads were weaved throughout her smoothly shoulder lenght layered hair. "You bet, I mean yes, I'm Buffy." The girl led her to a chair and gestured for her to take a seat. "Do we know what we want?" Buffy frowned and bit her lower lip. "Actually, no. I just, I want to look different, but not to the extreme. Just different." The girl ran her fingers through Buffy's hair as she looked at her in the mirror. "Different, huh? I can do that. Do you trust me?" Buffy looked slightly pale. "It's okay, no worries. I'm Nova by the way." And in that moment Buffy put all her trust in Nova.


	7. A New Beginning

"How do you like it?" Buffy shook her head from side to side, so that her hair fallowed. "I'm loving it, it looks really good." Buffy, who was now a brunette, wrinkled her nose. "Don't get me wrong, you looked hot as a blond. But now? Ouch! You're going to break a lot of hearts."  
Nova closed the gap between them. The former blond hesitated for a second before she leaned in to steal a kiss. Nova was more than happy to return the favor. "Maybe even mine." She said when they finally broke the kiss.  
"I'm sorry, I can't. I'm a wreck. How much glue do you think it takes to put a girl like me back together again? Death fallows me around, it is my gift, or so I've been told. The girl I love happens to be my worst enemy and yet I'd give my life for hers any day. That's why I can't do this. I'm so sorry Nova." Nova gave her a nod. "It's okay Buffy, I understand. Told you you'd be a little heart breaker. I guess it's midnight." Buffy felt somewhat mislead, Nova smiled and caressed her face. "It's like Cinderella and that fucking glass slipper, you know? It might sound silly, but I was never the right size." She accepted that and stepped down. "But I do have one question though, why'd you kiss me?" Buffy stared at her feet to avoid eye contact. "I don't really know. It felt right, it felt good. You look like her."  
Nova raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah? I look like her? Is that a good thing or?" Buffy grinned, Nova dragged her to the back and Buffy did not protest.  
She kissed down her neck, Buffy was beyond caring at this point, she was so caught up in the moment, but she finally broke the silence. "This is wrong." She finally said. "And you shouldn't do it, right?" Nova planted one on her lips. "No, I shouldn't."  
A smile spread across Nova's face. "It's naughty, but so what Buffy? Let go."  
She noticed a direct change in Buffy and figured that this is what it must be like when Buffy Summers lets go and gives in to temptation, which she fully understood when she was forced up against a wall.  
Her back hit it hard and she made a grimacing face, clearly stating that it had hurt, but Buffy wasn't about to be gentle.  
Nova had made her let go, so Buffy would make it worth the while.  
She pushed up Nova's top and forced it over her head. "Is this what you want?" Buffy asked harshly. "Huh? I can make you see stars, I can make you scream my name, I can leave you begging for more." Buffy was suddenly filled with all this anger, yet her voice trembled with fear and tears began to form behind her sparkling eyes.

Nova eased out of Buffy's grip and felt a calmness pull over her as her feet touched the floor. Her top was pulled down and her hands were placed on Buffy's shoulders. "You don't have to be strong for me, you don't have to be anything at all. The only person you need to be strong for is you." She then placed her hands over Buffy's heart. "Do you feel this? This is rare, this is what makes you, you.. Keep it safe and out of harms way and you'll be fine. Don't ever apologize for your behaviour and don't let people see your weak side." Buffy smiled, Nova kissed her forehead and said; "Go to her, show her how much you care, tell her you love her, every day, for the rest of your life."


	8. Confrontation

The door slammed shut and Buffy quietly looked up from the trashy teen vogue magazine.  
With hands in pockets she stood up. "Hey." She said, in hopes of it being Faith. "Hey back." They approached each other. "Look, I'm…" Buffy was interrupted. "You changed your hair?" Faith frowned, she let her fingers run trough Buffy's hair. "Yeah, do you not like it?" Faith shook her head 'no'. "Why'd you do that?" Buffy shrugged. "I didn't think you would care, but I can see now that you actually do, nice to know." Faith chuckled in disbelief. "Of course I care Buffy, you're the IT girl, my go-to Slayer. I tried so hard to win you over. I loved you so much, through it all. Your heart was so pure and your feelings were so true. Where ever I was, I never stopped thinking about you. You really are the sweetest girl and ever day is a struggle for you, I get that now." Buffy started to cry again. "Stop, just listen okay? I love you. I love you so much and it truly kills me to know that you and I will never be. It kills me, it's ripping me apart from the inside. My heart is breaking and I can't breathe, so I want you to leave."  
Faith couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You want me to, leave?" In one quick motion she grabbed her leather jacket. "Say the words and I'm gone, you will never see me again." She felt distracted by Buffy's new look and her mind kept racing.  
A future without Buffy didn't seem manageable. "Leave. Just go." Buffy let out a deep sigh, everything was falling apart, this was not what she wanted. "Get the fuck out!" She yelled.  
Faith simply stood there at first, not knowing how to react. She still couldn't believe it. Faith was choking on her own tears, but the lack of breath was not that was bothering her, the thought of not being able to see Buffy, ever again, almost made her heart stop beating at the spot.  
"Okay, fine." She gave up, in that moment Faith gave up.

"I never would've taken you for a quitter. Yet again you've proven me wrong." Buffy had made a change alright, a change for the worse.  
"I never would've quit, you mean too much for me to want to even think about quitting. If you tell me to, if you ask me to leave, then I'm definitely not going to stick around just to be your little punching bag. I hurt you, you hurt me and now we're even.

Silently she closed the door behind her.  
Buffy sank to the floor, which felt like the bottom of the ocean.  
She hit her fist through the wall, splinters of wood decorated her knuckles and blood was beginning to run down her hand.  
Buffy didn't care.  
If the world wasn't going to care about her problems, then she sure as hell wasn't going to care about the problems of the world.  
She was done.


	9. Road of Broken Dreams

Hey Bufy, where's Faith? I need to talk to her about something." Buffy frowned upon hearing Faith's name. "I don't know, she left." Dawn stared at her big sister. "What are you talking about?" Buffy who was still on the floor, grabbed Dawn's outstretched hand and let her numb body be pulled up. She freed herself and made sure Dawn and anybody else who got near her, knew that she didn't need their help.  
She barricaded herself in her room, even so, the whispering from downstairs could be heard. It wasn't bothering her as much as the tugging at her heart.  
Buffy decided that she wasn't going to beat herself up about all the negatives in her life, because there were too many.  
Nova had been right, love conquers all. If her love for Faith wasn't enough, then the world was definitely doomed.  
"Buffy? Are you alright?" Using a spare key, Willow let herself in. "Wow, look at you, you look good!" The corners of her mouth started to twitch and Buffy felt herself smiling, unwillingly. "Thanks. Can you see to that the girls don't burn the house down? I need to, I have some business to tend to." Willow nodded and fallowed Buffy t the front door. "Things will get better, I promise."  
The with put on a reassuring smile. "That's what they all say, but no one ever tells you when."


	10. A Different Kind of Pain

The road had led her to Faith's motel, good thing most of the things in Sunnydale were in a walking distance.  
When Buffy finally had built up the courage to knock, the manager came up from behind. "You… B?" She sighed. "Buffy actually." The manager scratched his beard. "Yeah, yeah, she left a note for you." He her gave her the hand written note. Faith had the vocabulary of a five year old, especially when it came to the writing.  
Buffy figured that she must've failed the written exam, that didn't make sense though, because Faith had failed the oral exam too. It was probably due to her absence during her high school years. 'Bronze' why she wanted to meet there was something Buffy would have to ask upon arrival.

At the bar, where else? "Could I have a beer, please?" The bartender looked her up and down. "ID?" Buffy was shocked. "You're going to card me, but not her?" She asked, pointing to Faith who just scoffed, other than that she didn't give her the slightest response. Buffy thought that it might've been the 'please' that had put him off , the bartender was obviously not used to simple, common curdosy. "Fine, a coke then." She moved in so she was now closer to Faith. "You could at least look at me."

Faith turned her head, raised a questioning eyebrow and took a zip of her drink. "Do you remember when we were here the last time? When we danced? When you let go?" Buffy didn't have to think about that one, it was as clear as crystal, right there, floating on the surface. "I remember, I also remember when you lost control." Another zip of jack daniels and coke passed Faith's lips. "And I reember when you stabbed me with my own knife." Buffy scoffed. "I came here to do good, alright? Not to get fucking beaten to a pulp."  
Faith froze in her seat. "Buffy, we've been given so many chances and we keep fucking it up. What is wrong with us? Why can't we make it work? Can't we at least try to make it work? One last time? If we fail, then we leave it alone."


	11. Chic

Weeks had passed since Buffy and Faith had decided to give their relationship one last chance.  
Through the struggle there's always a bright road at the end of a tunnel and that tunnel was where they were at right now.

"Faith, have you seen my black vintage satin shoes?" Buffy was in her closet going through shoe boxes and stacks of clothes on the floor. "Your what now?" Faith was standing in the doorway, she just managed to light a cigarette and take a drag, when Buffy looked up at her. "The black satin open-toe shoes with a bow, where are they?" Buffy was always able to find the fault, she'd blame it on anyone but herself.  
"What do you need them for anyway? The ones you have on are fine."

_'What'_ Buffy mouthed, as if what Faith had said something completely crazy. "I'm not wearing these, there's no way." She stormed off.  
Faith took another drag of her cigarette. "Fucking girls, the drama never ends."

Even though she had wanted this, all of this.  
She wanted her life to be with Buffy and sometimes when it felt like she couldn't go on, when her heart was torn, Faith would walk around in circles and all the memories would come rushing back up to the surface.  
Suddenly she remembered how hard she tried to be accepted by Buffy and her friends, her first Christmas in Sunnydale. The isolation and bitterness she at that time felt inside, was beyond comprehension. Richard Wilkins had filled the void. For a moment in her life, he was exactly what she needed.  
Buffy had given her everything, everything but the love she so desperately wanted.

When Faith woke up from her 8 month long coma, she wasn't out to harm Buffy. She went after her, just to make her see her. She thought that if Buffy finally saw her, she'd love her. She'd take the good with the bad and leave nothing out.  
Faith's flaws was just as beautiful as Buffy's if not more so.  
Her past relationships had been pretty shitty. _'You can't trust people, I should've learned that by now'_ It wasn't like that anymore. She wasn't a loser magnet and maybe she never had been.


	12. Trouble In Paradise

"You know what, I'm over the shoes, it doesn't matter." Buffy gently kissed Faith on the top of her head and took a seat beside her at the table. "Don't look at me like that, I didn't take your shoes, okay? You should ask little sis, she might have a clue as to whose feet has been in them lately." Buffy heard the door close. Even though it had been done cautiously, it was like a silent alarm going off in her head. "Dawn, would you come in here please?" Dawn tip-toed into the kitchen. "Where are your shoes?" Dawn looked down at her bare feet. "Oh, uh. I. There was. Shoes." Busted. Dawn handed over the black satin shoes to Buffy.

"Go in my closet again and there will be severe consequences!" Faith smirked. "Because of you stealing my shoes, I missed out on a very, important, _thing_." Dawn crossed her arms. "Oh yeah? Like that job interview you weren't planning on going to anyway?" That was it. "Go to your room, now."  
Dawn knew that there was no point in arguing. She knew the drill by now; '_As long as you're living in my house you're going to fallow my rules.'_

"B, come on. It's not that big of a deal." And it wasn't, it was never about the shoes. It was about Buffy and her not being able to let go.  
When you forgive, you let go of what's been, you let go of your past. After all these years, she still wasn't ready for the big moments.  
"Don't be so hard on her, cut her some slack. She's just a kid, she lives for the drama and you keep giving it to her, but then you take it away. There's no need for unnecessary scarring." Buffy straddled Faith. "Can you please stop acting like a grown up, it's giving me a headache." She rested her head against Faith's shoulder. "So, no Bronzing tonight then?" Buffy nodded. "Oh, there will be Bronzing. Let me just, return down to earth and we'll go."

Buffy was loving being in the now, she inhaled deeply and her lungs filled with new fresh air.  
"Faith?" Faith pulled a strain of hair out of Buffy's face and kissed her gently. "Don't ever let go of me. I think I shall die if you do."


	13. Bronzing

"Dawn, there's money for pizza! You guys have to chip in as well, I'm not a bank!" Buffy said to Kennedy as she opened the front door, dragging Faith behind her. "Yes, ma'm." Faith chuckled. "Not, funny!"  
As they left the house, Faith looked back at Kennedy, who winked at her and went to lock the door behind them.

The Bronze was packed. Knowing she'd get carded, Buffy sent Faith to get the alcohol, while she found them a booth.  
"Buffy?" She turned around to see a familiar face. "Nova, hi! What are you doing here?" They hugged briefly. "Oh you know, I'm here for the beer." Buffy frowned. "Please don't do that, you never know who might be falling in love with your smile."  
She brushed a strain of hair from Buffy's face, Buffy tilted her head. Her eyes smiled. "Buffy?" It was Faith, quickly snapped out of her mental image of Nova at her at the salon. "Faith! Hi! This is, it's uh." Nova stretched out her hand. "Hi, I'm Nova." Faith shook it. Without taking her eyes off of Buffy she replied with; "Faith."

Nova eased out of Faith's tight grip around her hand. "And that's my cue. It was nice to meet you. See you around Buffy." With beer in hand, she turned to leave, but Faith managed to grab a hold of her arm. "You don't want to do this, trust me." Nova scoffed, leaned and whispered; "Don't I? You want to bet?"

Faith gave Buffy her drink and went back to the bar. Nova let out a wicked smile as she backed away from Buffy.  
"I can not catch a break!"

A tap on the shoulder and Buffy spun around. "Can't catch a break huh?" Bleeched blond living dead. "I don't need your psychoanalysis tonight Spike, so spare me!" He offered her a cigarette. "Thanks, but I prefer none barf breath." The pack vanished into his pocket again. "Oh I see, but you have no problem what so ever, shoving your tongue down the troat of someone with barf breath?"

Ignoring him completely, she went to go find Faith. "You changed your hair." He yelled out after her.


	14. Beautiful and Dirty Rich

"What is your brain damage?" Buffy looked confused. "What are you talking about?" Even though Buffy knew exactly what she was talking about, she pretended not to, in hopes of downplaying herself, Faith might let it go.  
"You said you were going to do this right, but you're not even trying."  
The truth was that Buffy was always trying, no matter what she was doing, she was trying. She would fail more than she'd succeed, so maybe her recent success was scaring her. "Please don't make a scene not here. Can you just pretend to be civil until we get home?" Faith downed her drink. "I can't be nice, forgiving and sober at the same time. See you back at the house."

Faith felt like a little girl, trying to find her way in the big bad world. But this was always how it went. She'd get angry at her words and she'd go home. Buffy would never go after her, because she knew she'd be back.  
Their destructive behaviour would sooner or later kill the burning flame. The highs would make them fly, but the lows would make them want to die.  
She knew this only because Buffy had once told her, that she was once hanging from the very ledge where Faith was standing. In the end, it's always easier to let go.

So what, if Faith was angry on the inside? she couldn't change her past, so she started to create a better future for herself.  
So what if she yells a little and throws obscenities around, her anger was all she had left, if she let it go, it would all be over.

Spike had seen Faith leave The Bronze and deicded to fallow her. "Hey, hey miss _'warm champagne'_ girl, where are you off to?" Spiked clicked his tongue. "Fuck off, would you?" He caught up with her. "Cigarette?" He handed her one. "I thought Buffy didn't like it when you smoke." She looked up from lighting it. "Buffy, who?"  
Spike laughed. "Oh it's like that, do I sense a little jealousy?" Faith inhaled the smoke. "It's not even like that, she can do whatever she wants to." And with that, the rogue Slayer and the vampire parted ways.


	15. Warm Whispers

"I'm sorry." Faith hated that word, _'I'm sorry'_ nobody was ever really sorry, because if they were _'sorry'_ and they _'didn't mean to'_ why did they always manage to?  
They were just empty words and lately it seemed like the world was fallowing a pattern of that emptiness.  
"Faith, say something"  
What else was there to say?  
"You always do this, you lead me on and then you fuck off." Buffy shook her head 'no'. "I fucked up, but I didn't fuck off. I'm still right here."  
Buffy was sitting on her bed and she pulled Faith down to her level. "I don't know who I am without you anymore, all I know is that I should." She put her face into Faith's neck and let it all fall down. "Your warm whispers." Faith said. "Sometimes I can even hear you smile." Buffy sniffled. "I'm drowning in a pool of you."

Faith loved her, there was no doubt about that. "Don't play me, okay? I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see in the world, if that's what it takes to keep you with me, then hey I'll do it. We can share the dark together. No matter how dark it gets, there's always light at the end of a fight."  
And she was right. It didn't matter how bad their fights were, something good would always came from it.

We all have to walk a certain distance to be able to confront ourselves.

"Nova was just, she was just, _'there'_. I needed to get away and she was there, to comfort me. Sometimes I need to feel that calm inside me, in the space where I can breathe. You know this is heaven to no one else but us, help me defend it."

Faith wanted to believe her words so badly. But she wasn't so sure if they were true, or simply words to cover up her actions. "You're pulling at my stitches one by one. No one is ever happy, not even when they get what they want. Everyone always wants a little more." Faith kissed Buffy's lips, they tasted of cinnamon.  
"I should go, so this can end."


	16. 21 Flavors

"My days spin me around, I'm standing here without her. I'm a superhero and I still couldn't save the day. All of my dreams have let me down. This is it, isn't it? This is all I will ever be?" Faith's heart was shattered and it was mainly due to her own actions. "What are you so concerned about? Is this all hitting too close to home, it even made me shiver." Kennedy was sitting beside her at the ice cream parlor. "Why are we even here? You don't want any ice cream." Ice cream might be what cheers up most of the earths population, but not Faith.  
"I appreciate the offer, I have too much on my mind right now. I'm doomed to be alone. It just wasn't enough that the world is already so full of empty souls, I had to be added onto that list." Kennedy put he arm around Faith. "Stupid list! Do you want to get out of here?"

There was only one thing in the world that scared Faith and that was loneliness. She could not stand the feeling. "Buffy's a strong girl, in fact she may just be the strongest girl I know and when the world has turned silent, she's still there there, on top of it all.  
For the longest time I used to look at others instead of me blaming me."  
If this was a breakdown, the potential wanted no part of it. "Hey, how about we go catch a movie?" _'How about we don't?'_ was all Faith wanted to say. She wasn't your typical movie girl, she fairly enjoyed watching one every now and then, but to pay to see a movie just seemed idiotic to her. "Pass. How about we go find Twinkie's new girlfriend and beat her to a bloody pulp?" Kennedy looked beyond confused. "The who's, what now?"

Twinkie was one of Faith's old nick names for Buffy and she was sure it would piss her off just the same as all the other ones. "I don't know what your deal is, you should be flattered. The girl looks just like you." Kennedy was of course referring to Nova. "I look just like her? Yeah, I bet that's what Buffy said right before she made out with her!" Here she was, standing without Buffy and she was doing just fine.

"How do you know she made out with her?" Faith stared at the people passing them by outside.  
"How do I know she didn't. I can change everything about my outer appearance, but I can never change who I am. On the inside I will always be me and maybe that's what Buffy realized and couldn't deal with."  
During their relationship they'd spent every waking hour together.  
They'd explored each other to the fullest and they loved every mark, scar and inch of their skin.

"Kennedy, you're too young to be taken seriously." This made Kennedy smirk. "Oh yeah because you're so much older than me."  
Even though everything was tumbling down, things seemed to be getting better everyday

"Look, about that night." Kennedy stopped her. "Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter. I'll admit that I can get a little selfish myself at times, but that was you, simply having your cake and eating it too."

Their eyes met, for the first time in weeks and they shared a smile.

"Come on, let's go."


	17. I'll Take The Truth at Any Cost

Buffy stuck her head through the door; "Hello?" She walked inside and the door shut behind her. "Anybody here?" A whistle could be heard from the back. "In here." Buffy put her purse down on the counter and went into the back. "Nova?"

There was a time when Faith had Buffy breaking every rule in the book and here she was feeling more guilty than ever, for having broken what she swore never to break.  
Faith's heart.

"Hey babe. You look cute." Buffy was wearing a turquoise sundress and she was sporting brown sunglasses, which she placed on the top of her head. "Thank you, but I didn't come here to be flattered. I need you to tell Faith that nothing happened between us." Nova crossed her arms and scoffed. "So, basically, you want me to lie. Because you damn well know that something happened, so if I were to tell her anything, I'd tell her the truth."

When Buffy was younger, most of her free time was spent shopping. As she got older she realized that sort of stuff didn't matter.  
When her mother died, Buffy's life took a turn for the worse. Her priorities changed; _'Who will support us?' _and '_Who'll buy that cottage near the countryside.'_ some of her never endi questions. It took her a while before he realized that it was her, it had always been her.  
She was going to do it.

"You bring out a side of me that I don't know. You keep pushing and pulling me down." Maybe it was true, maybe Buffy did bring out different sides in people, but maybe it wasn't always so bad.

"Nova, we're not, I'm not. I mean. I don't know what I mean. But you need to stop this. You have to stop calling the house, stop leaving me messages. Stop it, okay?" She was serious, it wasn't a threat, she just wanted Nova off her back.  
"You're so messed up you don't even see it. You came on to me Buffy, you started this. Not the other way around. I don't understand what it is that you want from me. I can stop calling you and stop leaving you messages, but then you have to stop coming around here. It takes two. So don't act like you're all innocent. If you're going back to your girl, make sure you have a clean conscience. Trust me, I will not continue to cheer lead for you from the sideline, I'm not going to fallow you around until you love me."

Everyone wants a little more.  
That was always the case.  
"You don't understand." Buffy pleaded with her. "You know what, I think I do. You're selfish. You're just a stuck up tight ass. Buffy, you know how to play by the rules, but once you're caught cheating, your vitals go off the chart. Do you even hear yourself? You're blaming me for your mistake."

And she was. _'I'm Buffy, queen Buffy, all bow down to your royal __highness__.' _But not even Buffy gets to break the law, in order to reinforce it.


	18. Love and War

Kennedy and Faith had gone back to Buffy's house, luckily she wasn't home yet. Willow walked straight up to them when they walked in the door. "Faith, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
Kennedy went in to the kitchen, to join the rest of the potentials. She bumped into Dawn. "Sorry." Dawn crossed her arms and in a bratty attitude suggest that Kennedy left Faith alone. "This is beyond you comprehension, so for your own good stay out of it."

Faith and Willow sat on the couch in silence. "So, you and Buffy are?" Faith shook her head. "Together? No. Broken up? No. I'm not sure we're anything. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, or what she wants to hear. But I can't, because I don't know."  
It was never that easy.  
Suffering can never be eased.  
Our ability to choose, feel and remember are our own rights. Without our own actions, we're simply puppets.  
When we decided we're not helpless anymore, that's when we earn it all back, everything that's been taken away from us.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you two together. You're exactly what she needs, she has yet to realize it. But deep down, Buffy knows that she needs you. You two belong together."  
Faith also knew this, of course they belonged together. But they did bring out the best in each other, as well as the worst. "I know you'll love her more than anyone else ever will. Just don't break her heart, or I might have to break, something of yours."

The front door was unlocked.  
"Buffy."  
Willow could take a hint, she left the two to talk it out.

Buffy walked straight up to Faith and fell down on her knees. "I hardly ever ask for anything. This is me, on my knees, asking for sympathy. I know that _'I'm sorry'_ are just empty words to you. But believe me when I say that, I'm truly sorry. I promise, I never wanted anything liked this to happen"  
Faith lowered herself to Buffy's level, she took her hands in her. "Forgiveness isn't given out like presents on Christmas Eve, it's something you have to earn."

Buffy pulled them both up to their feet.  
"They say to only promise what you're ready to deliver and you ought to know that promises only means something when they're coming from the right person."  
Both of them had this secret healing power, they could be beyond recognition and still be able to fix each other up.  
That was something to be proud of and they should be proud for having come this far.


	19. You Bleed Just to Know You're Alive

"Buffy, you're so confused that you don't know what you want." Buffy was confused, she was confused about many things. But when it came down to it, she always knew what sh wanted, for the most part anyway.  
"During anytime, did you think about the way things could've gone?"

The truth was Buffy thought about it constantly. The way things could've gone, the 'what ifs' haunted her.

"I think you're afraid. You're afraid to be with me." Faith's eyes beamed in the night, they looked like stars to Buffy. "You thought that wee would just be friends. After the first time you got it in your head, that we were meant to be, that's when you understood that things would never be the same again. Instead of confronting me about it, you run from your problems and you stay scared. Why is that?"

It was in that moment, that Buffy came to terms with that this was indeed just the beginning and not the end.  
She wasn't scared and she wasn't running.  
She was avoiding and only because she didn't want to lose her.  
She was so afraid to fail, so she wouldn't even try.  
Sometimes it would feel completely forbidden to discover all those feelings they'd kept so well hidden for years.  
They were both aware of the recent problems.

"Buffy, when you're with me you don't have to care about anything else. You're an individual, a perfect example. In other words, you're human. It's perfectly okay for you to feel this way. It's okay not to know what you want. We come into this world alone and we leave it just the same. What happens in between is up to us. We have to make the best of it."

Buffy and Faith would protect each other until they were no more. They might be too proud to admit it, but they needed each other to feel whole, to feel complete.  
"And why is that? Why is it up to us?"

When Faith had come to Sunnydale, she had thrown Buffy's life so far off track, that she'd never fully gotten back on.  
That's just life, it's ever so strange. When you think that you've got it worked out, out of the blue something happens to throw you off coarse.

"Every minute we're out on the floor, that clock is ticking. However long a day feels, we don't have all the time in the world, it will all end. So please don't wish life away, because I would like to spend it with you."

Why Buffy wouldn't take Faith's hand, she had an extra which she wasn't using. She wanted Buffy to, for once, see her strenght, she wanted Buffy to see that she could be the one to ease her mind.  
Nobody knew what she was holding back, except for Faith, she knew and she would always know.

"Faith, do you know what it's like to want to die? Do you know what it feels like to wake up every morning and want to be dead?"  
Faith was holding back tears, she had never cried in front of Buffy before.  
"Story of my life, B."  
The burdan of being a Slayer was something they would always share, for as long as they both would live. Still didn't mean it automatically got easier.  
Their secret only made their shoulders heavier and holder to hold.

When Buffy had died, she had left everything behind, the best part about it was that she knew everything would be taken care of.  
She was free of her misery.  
A fragile soul had returned to heaven, a broken heart that the world would soon forget.

"Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, in the dead of a freezing winter, in some srtanger's house, just praying to die? Have you ever gone days without food, or not knowing when your mother would return? Have you ever watched the snow fall and turn the dark streets white, as your blood drips down from your wrists and decorates it? So don't ask me if I know what it's like to want to die, I've stood face to face with death more times than you could ever imagine."

Faith was shaking. Not from rage nor fear. "Buffy? Give me your hand." And she did. "All you'll ever need is to hold my hand. When you feel scared, or alone, take my hand and I'll walk you through it all."  
Buffy rested her head against Faith's chest.  
"Stay until tomorrow?" Faith stroked her hair and stared out the window.  
It was snowing.  
Her head was filled with painful memories of her childhood.  
The world in solemn stillness laid, as they watched the land turn white.


	20. Get Some Get Gone

The challenge wasn't over, for there would be more heartbreaks, more fights, more of everything. And even so, Faith was glad that things had gone the way they did.  
It had brought her closer to Buffy and it had made her realize that they were close friends, but that they now needed each other so much more.  
It was just Buffy and her now, no one was in the way of their long awaited relationship.

Faith had crawled out of bed, her time perspective had seized to exist. We're all time travelers deep down, but time shouldn't matter. Even though the clocks are always ticking, it's just time. As long as you are aware of how much time you have left, time does not matter.

The house was quiet, considering it was later afternoon. Lately all she had been doing was sleeping, because when she closed her eyes, everything else went away.  
The day was getting older, the light was slowly fading.

"Hi, Faith." Kennedy came carrying two cups of tea, she offered one to Faith. "Thanks." They sat in the dark, barely lit living room, with their tea cups, watching another day fade into the night.  
"Is Buffy okay?" Faith gave her a nod while sipping on her tea. "Yeah, she's fine." She put her cup down on the coffee table. "So, you're serious about this then?" Faith tilted her head at Kennedy's question. "About Buffy you mean? I thought it was obvious."

Kennedy didn't look so sure. "The road is long ahead and the past doesn't justify who you are." Faith smirked. "It better not, because a visit to my past is not very pleasant."

They sat in silence and watched the muted TV. "What is it that you want Kennedy? You didn't come here to bring me tea. There's something else and I'd like to know what." She squirmed in her seat. "All of my life I've been told that no matter what you do, if you start something, then you see it through."

Faith simply stood up and headed for the stairs. "Potential? Don't bow your head to no one and especially not me. It's not a secret anymore, starting tonight and from now on, I'm with Buffy. Try to get that inside your crowded little head."


	21. Sweet Lie

The girls avoided most of the waking hours, instead they would sit and talk when everyone else was in bed.  
For them it was normal, sleep was a waste of time for the living.

"If I could write out my own dream, for the next time that I sleep. You would be the first one that I'd see and I the last one that you'd keep."  
And it was true, if she could she would.  
"I haven't been outside my room in days. It took me some time, but now I know that conscience never fades."

During their time apart, they'd both been given the chance to think through their choices. It had taken Buffy a long time to accept who she was and who she would never be.  
All of her life she had been in hiding, wishing for someone just like Faith.  
Someone who would pull her through.

"Before I do this, before I tell you everything. You need to know that this will happen again. Not the Nova part. It's a new feeling, the feeling of success, the feeling of finally doing something right. Doing something that's right for me. Me, you, everyone we've had one of those days."  
Faith couldn't argue with that. At times she would feel so weird inside and it was then she'd remember not to break down. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down and there was no need to run and hide.  
Life's a ride and it's amazing all that you can do.

"I believe in you, I trust you with my life. I came here because I had heard the stories about you. You were a legend, a very hot one if I may say so." Buffy blushed, yet she grinned. "All I wanted was to get to know you and I thought that if I could get accepted by you, I would change. I would keep myself occupied with the slaying and my mind wouldn't wander off to the bad. But it did and things got worse."

Faith had served her time. She'd done it for Buffy and for Angel and for anyone else she might've hurt along the way.  
She had pondered long and hard on why she was they way that she was. Maybe Buffy did play a part in it all.  
When the world came crashing down, the Slayers were always there to defend it until their last breath. Faith was a part of it. She enjoyed being a part of something bigger than herself. She was doing good and if it didn't help her, it would help future generations. As long as someone was benefiting from her work, she was okay with that

"I won't always have the answers for your questions. The answers hat you seek, may lay elsewhere. I want you to know that I will be with you even though we're apart."  
Buffy had grown old in Sunnydale, she had given it all her strong years and her friends all of her devotion. "Faith, I've tried to teach you well, all of everything i know, of how to live this life and be true."  
Faith smiled, but her eyes didn't.  
"Why do you always do that? You smile with your mouth and grit through your teeth. I don't like it. It's like you're bleeding a lie without having to say it." Faith sighed deeply. "I thought we were past all the drama, apparently not. Before I knew you, before I got under your skin, I always thought you were considerably cool. Now? Not so much, at least not when you're like this. There's too much drama, I'm not good with the drama."

The anticipation of what would happen next was overwhelming. There was no happily ever after when it came to the Chosen Ones. They would never let each other lighten the others' low.  
"Is it wrong of me to say that I miss you?" The truth was that Buffy was always missing her. She could be standing right in front of her and she'd be missing her.  
"Do you remember how all of this started? It started because of you." Faith was appalled. "How is this my fault? You were the one who got drunk that night, off beer as well if I might add."  
Faith felt untouchable

"Don't mock my choice of alcohol beverage. You were the one who almost fucked Kennedy. So don't even try to tell me that it's my fault, when it's obvious that it's you who failed to keep your pants buttoned."  
They never planned for it to be this way, but things had gotten so bad between them and they no longer had any control over the situation  
"Are you kidding me right now? You were the one who said you wanted to watch! You challenged me, not the other way around. This is all on you, I am not taking the blame for this shit."

Faith felt so alone, even though she was surrounded by people, she felt alone. She belonged to no one and no one was truly hers, not even Buffy.  
Faith didn't understand how Buffy was willing to throw it all away, not just their relationship, but everything.  
"I envy you Buffy. You have all these people around you. They all love you and respect you more than you will ever know. You have this amazing house, you have this wonderful family and it's all yours. But you don't even care, do you? When it comes down to it, you believe that death is the solution. It's not, it's not the solution to feel Buffy and running away is not even an option. I've seen so much more than you have and you keep looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. This is life, deal with it."


	22. Cannonball

Buffy litterly dragged herself to her room, she didn't bother to check on Dawn.  
She just closed her door and threw herself on the bed. After a few minutes she removed her stylish yet affordable black boots. She then went to unbutton her white blouse. She slid it over one shoulder, then the other.  
Buffy entered the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush; _'Damn it!'_ They were out of toothpaste, again.  
She continued to undress herself.  
Buffy held on to the sleeves of her blouse as she stepped out of her black satin mini skirt, when there was a knock on the door. "Coe in." She turned her back to the door as she looked through her drawers for something to sleep in. "Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in like that." Still holding on the the blouse, Buffy shrugged; "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

She finally dropped the blouse to the floor and crawled down under the covers. "Well?" She said and made room for her fellow Slayer.  
Faith turned off the lights and joined her.


	23. And Then There Was You

Buffy kept staring up at the ceiling for what seemed to be an eternity.  
When she finally turned her head to face Faith, she realized that she had been staring at her all this time.  
She had been breathing down her neck and Buffy had chosen to ignore it. "Hi." Faith said and moved closer. "What time is it?" Buffy asked and moaned slightly.  
Faith leaned over her and sent Buffy's body into a tingling sensation, she gasped for air. "3:35." They continued to just stare at each other, until Faith broke the silence.  
"Do you know what my worst fear is? My worst fear is to one day wake up and you're gone and I would be left wondering if you even knew I loved you more than anything."

Now that the battle was done, they would wake up every morning with the sun up in the sky and the brave dreams would be spread on the battle below.  
There's no need to worry. If it rains, let it rain.  
"Do you know what I love about you? When I'm angry, you listen. You're my hero and you rock. And if I never laid my eyes on you, I know I wouldn't be the same.

What a day to give up and start again, what a day to give a damn.  
People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them, they want what they can't have. "Tell me again how lucky I am to be alive, I keep forgetting."  
The more unattainable, the more attractive. "I can slow down if you want me to." In this case, they had worked around their obstacles.  
They knew what it was like to be free and had decided that they'd rather be bound down together then out there in the world on their own.

"Remember when you asked me to stay? Well, I'm staying, for good. Just don't ever challenge me again, when you know it's me that you want."


End file.
